data-mm-id=”_4rkcm6ipu”>We're all busy these days but it's important to never lose focus of what's really important at this particular time and place: Sports team names and their relative toughness. A lot of franchises are doing just great. You hear what they're called and it makes you do a Tim Taylor More Power grunt. Others? Well, they are disgraces. Here's a collection of professional sports franchises who should reconsider the message they are sending. Toronto Blue Jays, St. Louis Cardinals, Baltimore Orioles, Arizona Cardinals: Oh, what a bunch of pretty birdies! They're all so harmless you literally put food in your yard to attract them. You ever see any of these birds flying majestically over the ocean holding a shark in its feet? That's right. These weakass birds have feet because their toes aren't worthy of being called talons.San Diego Padres: Take a long, hard look at the Swinging Friar. A case of Low-T if there ever was one.Cleveland Browns: Nothing worse than a team name that forces a person to do research as to its origins. There is nothing tough or manly about cracking a book. Jocks rule.Miami Dolphins: Absolute beta move to allow a bunch of tuna fisherman to ensnare you in a net. And a blowhole? That's a loser's design.Buffalo Bills: Who is afraid of a bunch of guys named Bill? Tampa Bay Rays: Ray only slightly more intimidating. Indiana Pacers: Oh no! Don't go too fast! Slow down! Utah Jazz: Can't even play the notes on the page, have to fall back to the safe space of what's in their heads and hearts.St. Louis Blues: Oh, you're sad? You've got the blues. It's the music you play with the tiniest instrument. New Orleans Pelicans: What if a big dumb bird was too big for your backyard? You'd send it to the ocean to eat fish and deliver babies. Oh, that's a stork? What's the difference? Stupid twig legs. Might as well be a flamingo, too.Los Angeles Angels: Dead people who are too weak to stay in heaven or pull off a good haunting. Teacher says every time a bell rings this team has a dumb name.San Francisco 49ers: What's scary about a bunch of guys who died like a hundred years ago trying to find pretty rocks in the mountains? Toronto Maple Leafs: Literally the softest part of a tree. Every year leaves (leafs) die and fall off trees and float softly to the ground where they rot. If they're lucky someone comes along, collects all their depressing leafy carcasses, and incinerates them.Los Angeles Dodgers: What are they dodging? The draft during the 20th century? With bone spurs? Can you imagine something weaker?Philadelphia Flyers: Cut your hair. Stop putting things on pieces of paper advertising your band's next gig. The economy has never been better.Green Bay Packers: This team was named after a moving company and is the only team name that might have some muscle. That's if you look at the origin of the team name. If you don't, it's just a little kid throwing some play clothes in a Dora the Explorer backpack for a night at Grandma's. Montreal Canadiens: Universal health care. What's there to be scared of? They're even afraid of spellcheck.Los Angeles Chargers: Socialism for the low-energy.Brooklyn Nets: A rare team named after a piece of equipment from the team's sport. Full of holes. If they had called them the Rims of Basket Supports at least you'd at least have something solid.Chicago White Sox: You know that bad Christmas gift your aunt got you when you were a young trope in a holiday commercial? Well, we named a team after those things. San Antonio Spurs: I'm old enough to remember when cowboys could compel their horses to do what they wanted just by gravitas and confidence.Ottawa Senators: Drain the swamp!
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Bayern Munich are top of the Bundesliga but coach Hansi Flick does not feel his side are worthy of any style points, joking their current form will not see them receive a beauty award .
The champions returned to winning ways in the Bundesliga on Saturday following last weekend s draw with Werder Bremen, coming from behind to beat Stuttgart 3-1 at the Mercedes-Benz Arena.
Tanguy Coulibaly handed the hosts a 20th-minute lead with his first professional goal but Bayern stormed back to claim all three points through fine strikes from Kingsley Coman and Robert Lewandowski before the break and a late third from Douglas Costa.
Stuttgart had 15 shots on goal to Bayern s 13 and caused problems throughout for a side they have now lost to in all but one of their 20 c…
United States international defender Robbie Rogers has signed a new multi-year deal with the Los Angeles Galaxy.
The Galaxy announced the contract extension on Thursday, with 27-year-old Rogers rewarded for his fine form at full-back after making the switch from midfield.
Former Columbus Crew and Leeds United player Rogers capped 18 times by the United States national team has made 15 appearances for the Galaxy this season, helping the MLS franchise to the Western Conference final.
We are excited that Robbie will remain a part of our organisation going forward, Galaxy head coach Bruce Arena said in a statement.
He has proven to be a dynamic player in our League and an integral part of our success this year. We look forward to his continued contributions…
Real Madrid would be interested in signing Paul Pogba if the Juventus midfielder became available, Florentino Perez has confirmed.
Pogba was once again one of Juve s outstanding players as they won a fifth-straight Serie A title in 2015-16, and he will also be key to France s Euro 2016 hopes.
The 23-year-old has been linked with big-money moves to the likes of Barcelona, Manchester United and Manchester City, and Madrid president Perez has told Marca that the newly-crowned European champions would also be interested in his services.
Pogba is a great player, but in midfield we have six great players, so I would not want to discuss speculation, Perez said.
While he excites me, it is difficult to reach agreements if there are no termination clauses [in …
Romelu Lukaku feels a second season of regular first-team football has seen him improve a lot as a player.
The Belgium international confirmed as a member of his country s FIFA World Cup squad on Tuesday has enjoyed a second successive season out on loan from parent club Chelsea.
After spending the 2012-13 campaign at West Brom, where he scored 17 goals in 35 Premier League appearances, Lukaku proved similarly productive for Everton, finding the net 15 times in 31 outings to help fire Roberto Martinez s men to fifth and a place in next season s UEFA Europa League.
And the 21-year-old
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feels his season at Goodison Park has helped him develop.
It s been a good season and personally I think I have improved a lot as a player, he told the club s official web…
Former Chelsea sporting director Frank Arnesen believes Jose Mourinho was too demanding of his players as the team could not cope with the Portuguese s intensity.
Mourinho guided Chelsea to the Premier League title and League Cup in 2014-15, but was eventually fired in December last year after a dismal start to this season.
On Monday, midfielder Cesc Fabregas stated that Mourinho gave the players extra time off following their title win, and the Spaniard felt he and his team-mates had let the manager down in their defence of the crown.
But Arnesen believes Mourinho s methods were ultimately what cost him his position at Stamford Bridge.
Mourinho is very demanding and sometimes the players can t take it, Arnesen told Omnisport.
He made some …
Scott Carson has vowed to erase bitter memories of the mistake that stopped England reaching Euro 2008 by regaining his position as Fabio Capello s first choice goalkeeper.
Carson joined newly-promoted West Bromwich Albion from Liverpool for 3.25 million pounds (four million euros) last week and is looking forward to a fresh start after struggling to break into the team at Anfield.
But he knows he will have to have an outstanding season to convince Capello to make him England s number one after his blunder against Croatia in a crucial qualifier last season.
Carson, making his competitive international debut, allowed Niko Kranjcar s shot to squirm into the net in the match at Wembley and England eventually lost 3-2, confirming their elimination from Euro 2008<…
Real Madrid are eager to rejuvenate their squad for coming seasons with investment set to come in the off season.
Los Blancos are set to finish second in the LaLiga title race to Barcelona who hold an 11-point lead with nine games to play.
The depth of the reigning European champions, who are in this season s quarter-finals, has been tested at times this term.
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Fichajes claims Real Madrid president Florentino Perez has identified Chelsea quartet Reece James, Ruben Loftus-Cheek, Mason Mount and Mateo Kovacic as potential targets.
The latter three are all out of contract in 2024, meaning Los Blancos could sign them for free if they do not re-sign.
Perez is plotting to capitalise on Chelsea…
Argentina Under-20 star Ezequiel Barco has completed his move to Atlanta United, with a reported MLS-record fee of $15million paid for the teenage attacker.
The fee paid to Independiente for the 18-year-old eclipses the existing MLS record signing of Michael Bradley, who joined Toronto FC for $10m.
Barco was a star of the 2016-17 Superliga season, scoring five goals and providing as many assists for Independiente, while the teenager also scored a penalty in the club s Copa Sudamericana success.
Securing a player of Ezequiel s calibre is another significant moment in Atlanta United history, said president Darren Eales.
This transfer further demonstrates the commitment of our club to bring top level, dynamic young players to Atlanta and to MLS.
W…
Harry Kane s 100th Premier League goal earned Tottenham a 2-2 draw at Liverpool in a contender for the game of the season, the striker stepping up to snatch a point from the spot in a hugely dramatic match at Anfield.
Kane had been denied by Loris Karius from 12 yards shortly after Victor Wanyama s long-range blockbuster cancelled out Mohamed Salah s opener, and Liverpool looked to have snuck a win thanks to the Egyptian s wonderful solo effort in the first minute of stoppage time.
But referee Jon Moss pointed to the spot again when Virgil van Dijk challenged Erik Lamela and Kane stepped up to send Karius the wrong way and give a thrilling contest a fitting climax.
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Seydou Doumbia could be on his way out of CSKA Moscow as Napoli have tabled an 18-million-euro bid for the Ivory Coast international.
The Serie A outfit are in the market for attacking reinforcements due to the expected departure of Ezequiel Lavezzi to Paris Saint-Germain, and they see the 24-year-old Doumbia as the ideal replacement.
Napoli sporting director Riccardo Bigon met with a CSKA representative in Milan on Tuesday , where he made a first official offer for the prolific striker, according to Goal.com.
The Russian giants previously demanded 30m euros for Doumbia, but have lowered their asking price to 25m.
Although both parties are still some way apart, they are expected to meet once more in the upcoming days to continue talks, and could eventua…